Flame Burs and Other Weapons

Have you ever taken a peek at what is written on the side of the dentist's tray of tools? Do the words air compressor, rotation speed, bowl flush, vacuum pump, and saliva ejector mean anything to you?

Whilst waiting in the chair for an adjustment to my Invisalign braces set-up, I was left alone to stew in my own imaginative, spiraling-out-of-control juices. I had enough time on my hands to survey everything around me. I could see all manner of power tools arrayed on the instrument tray - I thought I saw a Dremel rotary tool like we have in the workshop, with a set of different shaped attachments, of varying severity. Getting to know one's enemy this closely is not a good idea - it makes the dental procedures that follow seem even more scary.

The dentist eventually returned, wearing a magnifying glasses headset that made him look like a creature from A Bug’s Life. I wasn't prescient enough to pull out my phone and take a pic of him and his array of tools, so made this cartoon version of my experience instead.

He took another look at the situation, and asked for a flame bur to get the bonded metal off my tooth. In my head, I heard 'flamethrower' ... and instantaneously imagined the smell of burning flesh. Horror images of flamethrowing scenes from The Deerhunter and Apocalypse Now sprang to mind - would I come out of this alive? It's alarming not being able to see what they're doing with their armory, and yet, still letting them do it while one's imagination runs riot. It was loud, full of vibrations, curling vapors, spraying water and burning keratin smells. I could feel my fingers tensed tightly against my thigh, stiffening involuntarily.

But I survived yet again! Before I left, I made sure to tell them that they had a leak in their ceiling in case they hadn't had a stargazer's view of it like I had! I also managed to embarrass myself by telling the dentist that his name was an incorrect mix of English and German that didn't make sense - it was just my way of fighting back when cornered!