Raisins for Breakfast

Yum! I love adding raisins and sunflower seeds to my plain breakfast yogurt. A few weeks ago, after I'd finished scraping out my breakfast bowl, I noticed a raisin had escaped and was lying on the tablecloth.

Not wanting to waste, I picked it up and bit through it with my incisors - to my absolute and utter horror, I discovered that it wasn't a raisin. I spat it out and bellowed aloud in disgust, wiping the specimen off on the side of my bowl. It was unbelievably FOUL - I had picked up a cat dingleberry (SLANG: a small piece of poop that had clung to the cat's butt and fallen off elsewhere), and bitten into it (obvious evidence of a cat having been UP on my table). Disgusting. Nauseating. Never mind "murder most foul,' this was "flavor most foul" (hat tip to Shakespeare's Hamlet).

I ran into the bathroom and squirted soap directly into my mouth with some water, raging inside as I swirled and spat, swirled and spat, getting anything and everything out of my mouth. NEVER have I tasted anything SO BAD. Next I got a bottle of whiskey, took a swig, rinsed and spat, then another swig, with more swirling and rinsing until my mouth was tingly with booze. The smell and taste of cat poop remained with me all day and made me feel quite sick (I can 'taste' it now as I write this - my sensory memory is torturing me). So revolting.

This is an incident that has taken me a month to 'get over' enough to write about, and now you may wish you'd never read about it! I'm still embarrassed that I made that disgusting mistake, and don't know if I'll ever live this one down. I'm hoping though, that having written about it (and having made a whole meal of the incident), I can put it behind me and move on (almost like an exorcism) ... now that I've polluted all your minds! Apologies.